The Preamble
January 22, 2009
Beard Growing. That is about the only cool thing I’ve done with myself i
n the last few months. This of course does not include going out on weekends, but at this point I’ve done the same thing so many times that it’s become a second job. This also does not include any time I leave town on an adventure, which happens fairly frequently, butnot as often as I’d. So let me rephrase that. Beard growing is about the only cool thing I’ve done in the last few months on a work day. Each day, my highlight has been waking up and seeing how much as grown, and thinking about how ridiculous I would look if it was just a mustache. I kinda like the beard on me. I can get away with wearing all kinds of funny clothes, and people seem to respect me more at work, which brings me to my second point: Work. I would love to say I’m in the middle of a quarter life crisis, but I’ve already had one start on the first day of my job. It occurred when I saw my cubical. I was fresh out of college, 21 years old, the world in front of me… and literally being kept in a cage. What a disaster. I went through every cycle of the out of college quarter life crisis already and after about a full year, I finally mellowed back out. I’m way over the whole quarter life crisis thing now. This is more of a .268 life crisis.
A couple of days ago I was handed a completely life altering option. At around 10:00am I received an email back from a baseball coach in Germany whom I had sent a scout tape to earlier in the year. I made the team. I had wanted to play baseball in Europe every since I made the conscious decision to not play ball in college in order to attend a college that I actually wanted to go to, rather than baseball brought me to. This should sound like a familiar story to every failed athlete who’s ever played a high school sport, but I can assure you, I was good. I turned down scholarships in my decision to not play, and even as I am sitting here sending checks to Citibank each month for my student loans, I 100% do not regret my choice. I always figured I could make one final run with the sport in Europe somewhere, and I finally took action and translated enough websites to contact a coach that was interested in an American player.
Now I face a decision. In order to take advantage of this opportunity, I’m going to have to leave my job. Work or play, hmm, seems to be a fairly simple decision, but is it really? I have always been reasonably financially stable, but actually having a pay check come in for 2 years now has been amazing. Not just to have a paycheck, but to even still have a job in today’s economy makes me one of the lucky ones. I am definitely one of the few people out there who’s actually trying to leave his job in finance. This has been so hard on me because I really do realize just how lucky I am. I should have nothing to complain about really. I live comfortably enough. I have a car. I’m able to take time off when I need it. I know there some people out there who wonder where their next meal is coming from, and I truly am grateful for where I am. My plight lies when I’m sitting in my cube, listening to the guy in his mid 40′s who although sarcastically, always makes comments about quitting his job to do greater things. I know he wishes he could pack up and ship out, but he has a wife and kids and real responsibilities. All too often I feel like I’m in my 40s now, since 9-10 hrs a day I share his same routine. I’ve realized that this is not the life for me just yet. This is my time to live, and I really, really hope I can pull the trigger on this decision. I know I’ll regret it if i don’t.
I find out this week what my offer from this team will be. There’s a chance that I’ll get a financial package from the team, and there’s a chance I wont. My financial mindset keeps running through the opportunity cost of lost salary from leaving my job, so that’s been annoying. I’ll have to wait and see, and will update this blog when I know my situation. I have a feeling this is the start of something great.
January 23, 2009 at 7:54 am
Just wanted to let you know, sometimes getting fired may be the best thing to ever happen to you… you leave a job that just isn’t right for you. Well you get to make that decision yourself!
January 23, 2009 at 2:06 pm
hey, found your blog through cubicle nation. I can relate a lot to what your going through. I’m 22 and decided to start my own business, instead of going to college. So I had to leave all the security that comes with going the usual college path. Looking back to see if the decision i made was a good one or not, I would say is a no brainer (is that how you spell that,ha maybe I should of gone to college) but I must say that the walls that I have been confronted with are enormous. I’m at a point right now, where I feel lost and not sure if this venture will support my living, but I guess knowing that I gave my all to something, that I played a big game, makes it all worth it. Here’s a quote I like to read all the time to keep me going.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
-Theodore Roosevelt
February 9, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Hi, cool site, good writing