Finally Here

Whoa. So a lot has happened since my last post and I’ve honestly had no time to update this blog on any of it.  So in the last month, I’ve established residence in 4 different cities in 5 different houses, quit my job, and finally made it over here in Germany to play ball.  My job  moved me to a new city a week before I quit, so I lived on an air mattress in a friends hosue while commuting back to my orignial city for the weekends where my roommates and I were in the middle of a move across town – a daunting and time consuming task which left me in a new house to which I had no bed, and slept on the couch.  Before my job moved me, I had been living in hotels 5 days a week… for 6 straight weeks.  This was coupled with working 8-6 those 5 days a week and commuting about 2 hours between cities, and not really ever having a house of my own.  In typical financial analyst fashion, I felt that my restlessness and uncomfort in sleeping would best be represneted graphically – so enjoy the pie chart above.  After I quit my job, I headed straight home to NY, where I had 2 days buy anything I may need and to pack my life up for the next 6 months, then flew out from JFK to London then to Germany.  In Germany, I met my team, and stayed up 40 straight hours to combat jet lag.  I got one nights sleep, then the very next day we had a road trip for an away game leaving at 2am on a small bus… so I didnt sleep for 30 straight hours there.  So here I am more than a month after my last post, and I finally had a breather to gather my thoughts and get back into this blog.  Hi.  

So yea, I’m in Germany now.  I’ve been here for about a week and I’m living in a nice “flat” with one of the German guys from the team.  We’ve already played 4 games: 2 double headers the first weekend I got here.  From my first impressions, I havent really been in too much of a culture shock here.  There the usual nuances that I would expect from any foreign country – such as smaller meal portions (that all seem to have some sort of sausage in them), smaller cars and cleaner streets, but I think I was expecting most of it.  One thing that’s really taken me by surprise the the “greenness” of the country.  In the US we’ve been making strides to become more eco-friendly, but we have nothing on Germany.  Here, everyone recycles… and not just recycles, but recycles with the ferocity of that weird old lady your parents know who has 117 different trash cans for each type of element on the periodic table.  At grocery stores, you have to pay for bags, each bottle has a  .25 cent return bounty on it, there seem to be no clothes dryers, and I’ve even heard people save the rain water to wash their cars.  This all seems like good stuff to me, minus the first couple times that I didnt realize you had to pay for bags and walked out of stores with akward armfulls of assorted groceries.  I’ve only had a few oblivious foreigner follies so far, which have included putting hair gel on my tooth brush, shaving using some sort of womans facial cream that I thought was shaving cream, and in other news, I lost my first set of keys and had to throw pinecones up 3 stories at the window to get my roommates attention (at least my baseball skill set is being put to use).  

This weekend we will finally venture out into the city to see the nightlife, and I couldnt be happier about this.  Its hard keeping your 21-25 year old male friends entertained with stories that dont start with, “so we were HAMMERED and…”

I’m off to the fields now, but check back often for updates.  My computer is my only source of entertainment, so I’ll be here often.

The Decision

So I made my decision.  I said no.  Just kidding, lame joke.  At this point its pretty obvious that I was going to accept, I just wanted to work out a few details with work, and coming home after this journey is over.  For someone about to leave his job in the middle of a recession, I’m pretty risk averse, so I need to have some sort of plan for when I come home.

I don’t have an exact  date set yet for when I’m going to leave for Germany, but its going to be in late March.  Pretty close… I like it.  Less time to think about other options.  Right now I’m in preparation mode.  My daily events outside of work have mainly consisted of working out for about 2 hours to make up for the previous 10 spent in a cubical and thinking about/buying things I’ll need, notably a new laptop to replace my 2002 model that I have doubts will ever pass through a security checkpoint.  I decided to take full advantage of my benefits at work which I have yet to do in my 2 years of employment, and have gone on an absolute spree of health related office visits.  I squint all day usually, don’t really mind it,  but picked up some ill glasses… thinking they were to be paid for by my insurance.  $350 and 3 visits later, I now have a pair of bad ass Harley Davidson (from the cheap rack) glasses and for some reason I decided to let ol cunning Dr. LaRue talk me into also getting contacts.  I have never worn glasses a day in my life, and I got contacts.  Nice.  Not that I’m Mr. Magoo, but I do sometimes lose the ball in the sky on overcast days, or night games, so I consider this an investment I guess.  I don’t want to start a rant about how much I hate these contacts, but so far I see the pros as being:  I can see things clearer that are far away.  The cons are:  The world looks like they are viewed through a fishbowl that is constantly blurring in different spots, tearing, awkward, sometimes painful and always distracting.  I hear you get use to them, I hope that’s true.

The Offer

Matthew Lesko’s official website claims his government grants book can get you “$50 Bags of Money For $3.”  True Story.  This is wonderful news, since now I don’t have to worry at all about leaving my job, or working ever again.  Yesterday the team contacted me and gave me my offer.  I wont exactly be making it rain per se, but I’m happy with it.  The deal they worked out for me is they are going to take care of housing and my flight to and from Germany, which leaves me to pay for food and anything else I’m (beer) going to need there.  I think I made out well.  I  ran the whole situation by my parents and I’ve had the official stamp of approval from them, which as a bonus gift, came along with pessimism and many long talks about how bad of timing this was with today’s economy.  I don’t think they’re thrilled with the decision, but after seeing me for 15 or so years spend 2-3 hours a day bouncing a ball off the side of our house, and not on the computer practicing my excel macros, I think they know where I’m coming from.  Plus, I don’t think they realize that the government has been giving people bags filled with $50 cash, so once I tell them about that it should ease a lot of their financial apprehension.  Now I just have to tell the team, to make it official, and I’ll be on my way.

I wonder if there is a government grant for leaving your job to play baseball.  I’d actually be happy if there was a grant to help pay for a punctuation mark suit.  A friend of mine went to dinner with his girlfriend at a fancy restaurant in DC and sat next to Matthew Lesko.  He was wearing the ? suit.  True Story.

The Preamble

Beard Growing.  That is about the only cool thing I’ve done with myself in the last few months.  This of course does not include going out on weekends, but at this point I’ve done the same thing so many times that it’s become a second job.  This also does not include any time I leave town on an adventure, which happens fairly frequently, butnot as often as I’d.  So let me rephrase that.  Beard growing is about the only cool thing I’ve done in the last few months on a work day.  Each day, my highlight has been waking up and seeing how much as grown, and thinking about how ridiculous I would look if it was just a mustache.  I kinda like the beard on me.  I can get away with wearing all kinds of funny clothes, and people seem to respect me more at work, which brings me to my second point:  Work.  I would love to say I’m in the middle of a quarter life crisis, but I’ve already had one start on the first day of my job.  It occurred when I saw my cubical.  I was fresh out of college, 21 years old, the world in front of me… and literally being kept in a cage.   What a disaster.  I went through every cycle of the out of college quarter life crisis already and after about a full year, I finally mellowed back out.  I’m way over the whole quarter life crisis thing now.  This is more of a  .268 life crisis.

A couple of days ago I was handed a completely life altering option.  At around 10:00am I received an email back from a baseball coach in Germany whom I had sent a scout tape to earlier in the year.  I made the team.  I had wanted to play baseball in Europe every since I made the conscious decision to not play ball in college in order to attend a college that I actually wanted to go to, rather than baseball brought me to.  This should sound like a familiar story to every failed athlete who’s ever played a high school sport, but I can assure you, I was good.  I turned down scholarships in my decision to not play, and even as I am sitting here sending checks to Citibank each month for my student loans, I 100% do not regret my choice.  I always figured I could make one final run with the sport in Europe somewhere, and I finally took action and translated enough websites to contact a coach that was interested in an American player. 

Now I face a decision.  In order to take advantage of this opportunity, I’m going to have to leave my job.  Work or play, hmm, seems to be a fairly simple decision, but is it really?  I have always been reasonably financially stable, but actually having a pay check come in for 2 years now has been amazing.  Not just to have a paycheck, but to even still have a job in today’s economy makes me one of the lucky ones.  I am definitely one of the few people out there who’s actually trying to leave his job in finance.  This has been so hard on me because I really do realize just how lucky I am.  I should have nothing to complain about really.  I live comfortably enough.  I have a car.  I’m able to take time off when I need it.  I know there some people out there who wonder where their next meal is coming from, and I truly am grateful for where I am.  My plight lies when I’m sitting in my cube, listening to the guy in his mid 40′s who although sarcastically, always makes comments about quitting his job to do greater things.  I know he wishes he could pack up and ship out, but he has a wife and kids and real responsibilities.  All too often I feel like I’m in my 40s now, since 9-10 hrs a day I share his same routine.  I’ve realized that this is not the life for me just yet.  This is my time to live, and I really, really hope I can pull the trigger on this decision.  I know I’ll regret it if i don’t.

I find out this week what my offer from this team will be.  There’s a chance that I’ll get a financial package from the team, and there’s a chance I wont.   My financial mindset keeps running through the opportunity cost of lost salary from leaving my job, so that’s been annoying.  I’ll have to wait and see, and will update this blog when I know my situation.  I have a feeling this is the start of something great.

Thanks to everyone from Escape from Cubical Nation

I’ll get on this soon I promise.  Thanks again for the support.